This informal adaptation of a clinical term could be compared to the use of the word depressed. Many people use that word to describe their feelings of sadness. This is very different from clinical depression, which is a serious disorder.
Narcissism as a Coping Mechanism
Self-protection strategies or coping mechanisms represent unconscious psychological strategies that aim to shield us from our wounded child’s negative feelings and thoughts.
These coping mechanisms may include:
Overspending
Addictions
Binge eating
Overreacting when you feel even slightly rejected, dismissed, or abandoned.
Playing the victim
Playing the martyr
Holding onto resentments
Blaming others
Procrastination and using distractions
denial,
perfectionism,
people-pleasing,
control,
avoidance and withdrawal
Narcissism can also be a coping mechanism. It’s not healthy, yet it’s extremely common. In this sense, narcissism is not a personality disorder but an outcome of being raised by less-than-perfect parents.
Narcissism as a Personality Disorder
Outwardly, someone with NPD appears to be a self-obsessed individual who thinks they’re the most important person in the room. But this demonstration of grandeur and flawlessness is nothing more than a self-protection strategy to suppress the wounded child’s struggle with feelings of worthlessness, deep insecurity, and inferiority.
According to the DSM-5 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, narcissistic personality disorder erepresents “A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
4. Requires excessive admiration.
5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).
6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).
7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.”
In this sense, someone with NPD doesn’t just cause problems in other people’s lives, the person who has the disorder experiences distress and upset as well.
