One would think that forcing a victim to suffer through being targeted for the role of narcissistic abuse target time and time again would be enough to sate an abuser’s sadistic desire to cause harm, but they seldom stop there. Their true goal is the social and emotional isolation and complete physical and financial incapacitation of their targets and perceived rivals — not based on justice or karma but simply because the antagonistic, spiteful, petulant and egocentric Narcissist, Narcopath, Malignant Narcissist, or person with an Anti-Social Personality Disorder derivation selfishly and for their own fickle best interests alone demands it.
Narcissistic people who simply never stop harassing or bullying a target are the reason so many victims of demented bullies or stalkers develop a condition called Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder — “C-PTSD” for short. In a funny way, it can most easily be remembered by admitting to yourself and others, “I see what you did there.”
Why? Because when you suppress emotions after being traumatized or witnessing a traumatic event, the body says to the ego okay self… I hear you but do you really think enabling caustic people is really the healthiest way to approach things with regard to creating healthy boundaries and being able to readily enforce them — if not for others then for yourself?
Flying Monkeys and the toxic people who manipulate them into simultaneously enabling while further traumatizing a target or scapegoat are the primary social, psychological, and emotional influences who shame and blame victims to the point the abused person develops a physically debilitating condition called C-PTSD. By engaging in smear campaigning and letting slanderous gossip stand unchallenged, they socially help financially and emotionally cripple Abuser’s preferred scapegoats and favorite abuse targets.
Scapegoats who are acutely aware they are unloved by family, unappreciated in a narcissistic peer group, fail to be accepted into an academic clique, or who are ostracized from the inside crowd while working in a social environment where they are disliked by in-house rivals suffer immeasurably. The only sorrows arguably greater are to be persecuted for belief, sex, age, nationality, who you love, or skin tone than to be scapegoated and sacrificed at the altar of individual martyrdom.
Cluster B people cannot help themselves. If they are true Narcissists with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or true ASPD, they cannot change their fundamental nature any more than they can change their height. To harbor ill will toward such a person is pointless. Instead, try to accept them as-is and make a choice to behave differently than they did/do — rebelling in essence while promoting social responsibility rather than demoralizing ones self or lowering your own vibration by choosing to self-indulge the primate part of human DNA that is quick to lash back at hurtful people with caustic commentary or physical demonstrations of entitlement-thinking based anger.
For that reason alone, spending one moment of your time indulging a narcissistic person’s temper tantrums, irrational wishes, or attention-seeking chaos manufacturing truly is like giving a mugger your wallet then inviting him or her back to your house to help themselves to further contents of your home.
Because the locus of control and self-actualization pinnacle of success for Narcissistic people is based on a triple play of self-aggrandizing, egocentrism, and lack of empathy coupled with a limited or diminished capacity to experience a full range of human emotions, creating pain for others actually creates a pleasurable endorphin rush for bullies and other people who enjoy spectating while other people get hurt.
Isolating a victim and shaming them creates a triangulation between the person who has been victimized and everyone they meet, see, or run into who they think may have been negatively impacted by the malicious gossip of a ruthless emotional terrorist. Not only do victims feel fear and shame that they have been targeted (a traumatic and tragic process to go through that is psychologically damaging and physically exhausting in and of itself), but they have to deal with a persistent fear that someone they know or have just met has themselves been victimized by a pathological liar (even if they never truly realize it).
There is little to no comfort or solace ever provided to a target of extreme Narcissistic Abuse. Friends and family act like frenemies, indulging in group mobbing. Misguided psychologists, teachers, and medical professionals misread social cues and mistake C-PTSD for a host of other psychological dysfunctions that misdiagnose a victim whose body is responding to trauma in ways that are absolutely healthy, spot-on point for timing, and based upon being traumatized on a daily — sometimes hourly basis — by energy and attention-seeking predators.
Between having to deal with narcissistic abusers themselves, being cast out into the proverbial wilderness to fend for themselves, and the frequent but randomly timed Flying Monkey attacks, a true victim of Narcissistic Abuse truly has little to no social support left in place by the time their aggressor gets through plotting and acting out their first few waves of caustic and demeaning social attacks. C-PTSD (a form of Conditioned PTSD) sets in due to a target’s experiencing ongoing, pervasive, and extreme duress.
CPTSD is not necessarily curable — as it is a healthy biological response to incredibly toxic narcissistic abuse. It is, however, manageable — and tends to naturally abate for the most part over time when and if a victim is able to escape the social, emotional, physical, and psychological influence of his barbaric and torturous aggressors. The condition should be seen as a red flag and a warning sign, not a final outcome. Truly, if you meet someone who has C-PTSD, the first concern you have should NEVER be for the victim’s trustworthiness, perceptions, anger management level, or sanity. People who develop this mental health disorder tend to be extreme HSPs or People Pleasers. If they are HSP, they have highly sensitive personalities. Easy to traumatize with loud noises or aggressive body posturing gestures, many sadists delight in making such a person flinch so the abuser can them feel powerful and subsequently will use the wincing reaction to make a target feel even lower than they already do for being with a person who would find their pain, discomfort, and agony amusing to them.
As HSP, sensitivity — something that should truly be regarded as a gift — is ridiculed so regularly in so many cultures and families that children born emotionally gifted oftentimes grow up never knowing that their emotional nature is something right (rather than wrong) with them. They become the lost children, growing up to become the Walking Wounded. Many will say they attract “losers” and self-deprecate because of it. The tragedy is many times the person attracting losers actually is nothing more than a People Pleaser with otherwise healthy self-esteem who is vexed at their own inability to please a narcissistic peer group or abusive person.
Having been sold a bill of goods about abuse victims since the 1980s, nearly every psychologist in the WORLD has inadvertently become a Flying Monkey acting at the behest of invisible Cerebral Narcissists who establish guidelines for mental health practices. Instead of spotting children showing signs of having C-PTSD from growing up in war zones in their own homes, impatient school teachers demand kids be medicated for showing symptoms they personally have misdiagnosed as ADD and ADHD.
If you are being abused by a narcissistic person or peer group, keep the faith and educate. It is important to note that people who develop the disorder typically do so over an extended range of time. It comes specifically on after being taken hostage or experiencing ongoing abuse.
Adrenal fatigue is commonly seen in abuse victims who are repeatedly traumatized or re-victimized. Soaking in Epsom Salt bath (to replenish Magnesium deficiencies) and taking an anxiety-relieving, non-habit forming drug works far better than ever taking a mind-altering drug or substance designed to alleviate a false-positive cookie-cutter diagnosis of depression.
It’s often important to recognize most People Pleasers are not “co-dependent” on any one person. They also tend to have healthy self-esteem. What they do NOT have is intellectual and emotional training on how to set and enforce healthy boundaries. As such, if you are a therapist, domestic violence advocate, or abuse counselor, please ensure you have your facts straight first before offering advice to any individual who is seemingly stressed out to the max and reporting they feel hopeless or are being pervasively targeted.
Sometimes all a true narcissistic abuse victim needs to mentally, emotionally, and spiritually recover is to have their experience of having been abused be VALIDATED. That does not mean they need to forgive their abuser to heal — or even confront them.
Therapists who encourage an abuse victim to bring their abuser to sessions or to stage an intervention with an abusive person who shows signs of having a Cluster B personality disorder actually place victims in further harm’s way. The therapists — by treating the victim and abuser dynamic as something on the scale of normal gives the OPPOSITE advice the victim needs to hear. If a therapist fails to spot the clear and obvious red flags that a person is being targeted for abuse, truly, their licenses should be REVOKED. Blame shifting to tell a victim catchphrases like “there are two sides to every story” or that the victim and abuser’s personality “don’t mix” because they are like “oil and water” further traumatized and further victimizes the victim.
By excusing narcissistic abuse and attempting to rationalize the words or actions of an abuser, the victim is denied the opportunity to feel validated. The victim is denied the right to grieve. What’s more, to invalidate and interrupt the grieving process, the victim (and yes, we do keep stressing the word victim for a reason) is literally physically prevented from healing.
It is in this denial of a fundamental human right to have a personal experience that can be worked through in a healthy way that not only the abuser but the victim’s social and medical support structure betrays them in the most fundamentally spiritually destructive ways humanly possible. To gaslight a moral crime victim into believing they were somehow responsible for being targeted is — for lack of a better term — deranged.
There is no court who asks a crime victim to come in to confront their abuser then tells them they were asking for it. No one demands a crime victim forgive their attacker and overlook or excuse abuse. No one asks a rape victim to have dinner with their rapist or to sit down with someone who has put their hands on them in a hurtful or undesirable way. But an enabler does. And an enabler who is also Narcopathic in nature is the only person who would demand a victim and an abusive person talk… communicate… “work it out”… “have a sit down”… “share their feelings”… or insist that something is psychologically wrong with a victim who won’t hang out or break bread with those who for no other reason but fun and sport choose to attack them.
Can you see the senseless re-victimization of trauma victims by people who encourage blame-shifting to a reactive — rather than catalyst — victim? Truly, sadistic Cerebral Narcissist therapists who misdiagnose and family friends who say the cruelest and undermining things to abuse victims are some of the abuser’s favorite weapons. Catalysts of mass social, psychological, and emotional destruction for victims, arguably Flying Monkeys do as much or more damage to a target than the people or person who targeted them for social and emotional destruction originally. People with C-PTSD recover once they are made aware of the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse and willingly choose to exit the emotional roller coaster ride by going full-on “No Contact” with their abuser and any person who chooses to voluntarily stay in contact with and/or who [intentionally or unintentionally] enables a known abuser.
