Never take an abusive or ‘Narcissistic’ person to counseling with you

If you suspect that a person you are dealing with has a Cluster B personality disorder like Anti-Social Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, or any form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it is crucial to downplay your interest in working with a counselor, mentor, or spiritual adviser. It is even more important to keep them out of your therapy sessions.

Why? Because toxic people with Cluster B symptomatically will use your candid admissions against you without hesitation or mercy. Trying to make intellectual headway with one or fleeing a persistent stalker is very much so like striving to reason with and show compassion for a robotic Terminator. Unable to control their impulses to pathologically lie, meddle, mislead, manufacture chaos, and harm others to derive their own sense of “peace”, they delight in misleading those seeking to help.

Predators will use information gleaned in therapy sessions to hurt a targeted victim with greater ease (due to insight about them they gleaned directly from a therapist who had no clue they were ENABLING). Almost all clinical or true Narcissists, Narcopaths, Malignant Narcissists, Borderlines, Histrionic, and Anti-Social Personality cases, abusive and/or narcissistic partners or family members abuse post-relationship-mortem even more aggressively than they did during the time they were with their partners.

It’s common for them to have engaged in social acts of emotional terrorism to destroy, isolate, and manipulate their devalue and discard pile targets using one, several, or all of the following systematic and abusive “torture” patterns. As such, if you choose to confide to a Narcissist about how you feel regarding your own life, any social interaction, your life history, or personal insecurities and fears, understand that the people you are essentially giving the key to your heart, spirit, and mind are the types of individuals who are emotionally and psychologically capable of betraying those who love and care for them the most.

Here are just a few things one can expect to have happen when and if an abusive person can worm their way into a counseling session:

situationally abuse and terrorize victims — most oftentimes covertly but always with an overt, grandiose manner if and when they have the chance to impress fellow narcissistic people with their clever, manipulating, cold, calculating, and dominating personality publicly (including lying to and manipulating an unsuspecting counselor)

leaked their victim’s personal information about things like childhood abuse, sexual abuse, intimate relationship details, and physical abuse maliciously

gossiped and demeaned while attempting to intellectually, emotionally, or socially invalidate

blame shifted while promoting shame

encouraged Flying Monkeys to ridicule, laugh at, mock, or otherwise humiliate and/or embarrass a target

intimidating and menacing (if overt); spreading false rumors, stalking with the intent to cause duress on a victim, or cyberstalking explicitly to anonymously violate privacy rights of a victim (if covert)

attempting to forcibly estrange or socially isolate a victim

bullying

fear-mongering

smear campaigning

pathological lying for amusement, sport (conning), or self-interest

stealing or financial abuse

mood swings with narcissistic rage routinely prospective

encourages or deliberately triangulates

claims they were the abused party despite having been the primary catalyst, triggering person, or aggressor — “false victimization”

try to con their own victims into believing that the victim is narcissistic, self-centered, or being abusive for reacting with anger or frustration to having been abused, had civil or human rights boundaries violated, or for developing C-PTSD “stressor-induced” triggers

sleeping with a therapist or starting a romantic entanglement with a person who they know has inside information about a victim

targeting the therapist for social or professional destruction, even going so far as to blackmail counselors

they learn to push buttons faster and more efficiently than Dee Dee on “Dexter’s Laboratory” cartoon show

Narcissists destroy people in the most extreme and cruel ways humanly imaginable. Their number one goal (aside from “winning” whatever illusory competition they have created as a social scenario in their head), is to emotionally, socially, physically, and financially cripple their targets, scapegoats, and even the occasional collateral damage victim as much as possible. For that reason alone, protect your rights to privacy and to seek guidance from an outside source by minimizing what you do say or share with any person who acts abusively or who openly supports your abusers. Few medical professionals or therapy-promoting people will come out this way and say it because most are profoundly uneducated about C-PTSD, Cluster B personalities (in the flesh), and have a fiscal motivation that compels them to “sell” you on the idea that family therapy or group therapy with such a subject is healthy, helpful, enlightening, or (from a safety standpoint alone) prudent.

If a counselor advises you to stage an intervention or confront your abuser even after being openly told of your suspicions, run (don’t walk) to the nearest counseling room exit. Unless they are encouraging you to do a mental exercise involving creative visualization ONLY — helping you picture saying what you want and feel you need to in order to heal from abuse by confronting your abuser(s) — they are giving you unsound advice that actually puts you at risk of being targeted for social, emotional, spiritual, mental, or physical abuse in such a way that may be lethal.

Narcissistic abuse, whether mildly inspired by cultural acceptance or extreme in nature perpetrated by criminals, is always equally wrong. Victimization happens not only to the person targeted for abuse but to every person forced to witness the trauma, as well as every person denied the victim’s presence when they withdraw or are unable to maintain the “NOW” perspective [or time-specific focus].

Mothers damaged by angry fathers are effectively estranged emotionally from their own children. Fathers damaged by angry mothers are deprived of the opportunity to connect on a full, ongoing, or functional level with their own children. Sibling rivalry manufactured by parents separates family and robs all current family members and future relatives the benefit of living under one communal family roof as something supportive. Home life has become a prison for many of the “Walking Wounded” from both this century and all that pre-date it.

Don’t be a victim of Narcissistic Abuse — but more importantly, don’t become a passive (or active) enabler. There is nothing virtuous about keeping domestic violence, workplace bullying, or schoolyard bully behaviors a secret. Keeping secrets for abusive people to protect their reputation and theirs only makes you a willing victim with Stockholm Syndrome. Or worse.

Why narcissistic people lie, smear campaign, and gossip about victims

Why do abusive people lie, spread rumors, and make up malicious gossip? To shame and effectively isolate targets, that is why. They also do it to tamper with witnesses and victims of crimes they enacted or aided and abetted either passively or actively with mindful intent.

Narcissistic people are the ultimate social and emotional predators. Truly functional — rather than dysfunctional — they are vicious predators whose only intention is to win at all cost. Competing in their own mind financially, physically, socially, and emotionally with every single person they encounter, they project their own negative qualities and errantly presume their targets have similar core values by nature.

It is totally normal for a person with a Cluster B personality disorder to pathologically lie, gaslight, and smear campaign. It might be absolutely dysfunctional and caustic to themselves and others, but the pattern is stereotypical. Don’t expect to be able to avoid having to deal with their self-serving antics and shenanigans. Every narcissistic person you know who actively badmouths another person or group without that person or stereotype represented is keeping a major secret from you.

Guess what, “Narcissistic Supply Source”? If you think a narcissistic person is trustworthy because of their special interest or attachment to you, nothing could possibly be further from the truth. The Narcissist or abusive person who connives to socially harm, damage, or invalidate the fundamental human and civil rights of others understands that what they are doing is morally wrong. They understand that lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating, and attempting to gaslight other people is wrong.

They also know that lying to their friends, family members, and co-workers shows them little to no respect when and if they try recruiting Flying Monkey enablers. Narcissistic people get off emotionally and psychologically based on the thought of getting away with something. They tend to only show false versions of remorse for their actions when and if they are caught. Refuse to accept false apologies!

If they can pretend to be the victim and get away with having other people socially target and punish their innocent targets and victims? In the Cluster B person’s mind… all the better. Feigning false victimization is the social predator’s specialty — when and if Sadism is a part of their psychological makeup. There is no biologically inspired empathy for those traumatized by their behavior or feelings of guilt inspired by them causing other human beings’ social, emotional, physical, psychological, or spiritual harm.

All people with Cluster B personality disorders behave in ways that are fundamentally narcissistic. Predators range from mild to wild, with those born tending to exhibit signs of rage having the most likely chance of developing a taste for social, financial, or political bloodlust as they age. Abuse never lessens with a Cluster B person. They just get more adept at socially bullying and hiding the situational or clandestine abuse of their preferred scapegoats and targets. Egocentric by nature, they learn from an early age how to manipulate people by lying to them or presenting partial truths mixed with cleverly nauseating twists they make up to socially embarrass their intended target in the event of an eventual breakup.

Narcissistic people will even go so far as to make up rumors and stories about the condition of their mate or target’s mental health in order to undermine their credibility should they ever try to break the silence as a victim. Totally self-centered, they interrupt the natural process of grief after a victim has already been traumatized, demanding attention while heaping on trauma by the pile.

If you think you are being abused, that is all that matters. It is crucial all neurotypical and HSP human beings of any age, sexual orientation, or gender status understands this truth, as anyone presenting an alternative fact about it is gaslighting.

Abusers take note — feeling abused because you face consequences for your actions or lifestyle choices and or claiming you have been abused by a victim who sets healthy boundaries, enforces them, and puts a stop to your having their permission to treat them in a way that is menacing is not the ethically same thing as being victimized for real and self-advocating for validation or just treatment following any incident that causes trauma or contributes to the formation of a PTSD inspired abuse, terror, or recovery memory.

Your subjective opinion of having been victimized or traumatized is truly valid in spite of their attempts to minimize, blame shift, avoid taking responsibility for their action, writing revisionist history, invalidation attempts to claim you deserved the abuse or were for some reason not allowed to set healthy boundaries, their lack of respect for your emotional healing process, or outright denials. Believe it. They know the truth (that you are a good person, most likely human but still trying your best to show them respect). Narcissistic people who lack a genetic or biological ability to feel empathy choose to lie in order to bait, provoke, or socially incapacitate others because it gives them an endorphin rush.

While you are feeling the most pain, shame, and betrayal, they feel nothing but physical, emotional, and psychological pleasure. The constant competitor, they project onto their victims whatever image of them suits their needs at the moment. While self-stroking their own ego by manipulating other people’s relationships and emotions, they get off on creating artificially inspired triangulation. Then, while they “one-up” by lying about one while duping another, they feel powerful and successful.

Covert bullying — whether by cyber-bullying, stalking, filing frivolous lawsuits that waste the court’s time and taxpayer resources, smear campaigning, or intimidating by overtly harassing — is the specialty of the narcissistic person and all their Flying Monkey enabling posse. Known for being situational abusers, some spend months, years, and decades abusing their preferred targets, scapegoats, and victims on the sly while publicly pretending they themselves are either perfect or have been the victims of abuse.

When a kind person shows them empathy or sympathy while lying, they immediately know they have most likely found a stupid but well-meaning person to use and eventually discard or persistently abuse. Ultimately, virtually emotionless themselves and unable to functionally experience pure joy and happiness without an undercurrent of taking sadistic pleasure in stealing, conning, lying, or conniving, emotional predators like narcissistic people or those who have Cluster B personality disorders are getting off almost exclusively because they feel almighty powerful when they con other people.

And despite what they claim, the longer the smear campaigning continues without validation of the truth, the more emotionally attached the abuser is to remain playing an active part in the lives of their victims. It’s truly nothing more than a sign they cannot stop missing you. As rejected suitors, they must destroy you if you refuse to be hoovered when they pursue.