This shows on one level that narcissists are aware of what they’re doing, whether that’s on a conscious level or subconscious, depending on the narcissist and what they’ve done. Below are some examples of when narcissistic people smirk at you. The smirk can last for a moment or a few minutes. Sometimes you just get a flash that makes you feel uneasy.
Number one. When they are purposely deceiving others and think that they are getting away with it.
Number two. When they see your pain, either pain you are suffering from external sources, when you’re telling them about something that’s happened to you and for a second, you see that smirk. Or it can be the pain they have caused you. The look makes you feel uncomfortable, yet you’re not sure why you feel uncomfortable.
Number three. When they then reject your thoughts, feelings or opinions when they’ve caused you to feel pain, hurt, anger, or frustration through their manipulative games, actions or conversations.
Number four. If you set boundaries and say no, you don’t give them what they want, so they punish you through things like those silent treatments, so you’re upset, and they know you’re upset, they may smirk as they are pleased they’ve upset you.
Number five. If you ask them about something they’ve done to you, so they start blame-shifting, gaslighting, and projecting their own insecurities and faults onto you, ” If you hadn’t.” ”You’re jealous.” as narcissists are incredibly envious of others. When you start to try and discuss or rationalise with them or start to get frustrated with them, as when people are provoking, it’s human nature to want to defend ourselves. Narcissists get pleasure from the confusion they cause within others’ minds, and you might catch a smirk.
Number six. When they are playing mind games with you to manipulate you, or gaslighting you to distract you from the reality of their toxic behaviour, then when you’re left feeling confused or defensive, you might have seen that smirk. At the time not aware of what it was about.
Number seven. When they do manage to provoke and gain the reactions they want from you.
People can smirk to deceive others but also to protect themselves. Just because someone is pulling this face, it doesn’t mean they are a narcissist or that they are toxic. Some people smirk when they don’t get what they thought they wanted, or they are upset, or if they are feeling embarrassed or shy.
With a narcissist, the smirk is a malicious, unpleasant, mocking or even intimidating half-smile.
The smirk often forms at one side of the narcissist’s mouth as they feel contempt. The meaning of contempt is a despising or lack of respect, full disobedience, with an intense dislike. Narcissists feel contempt as they believe they are superior to all others and think they’re entitled to control and take advantage of others. They think if people aren’t doing what they want, they believe that others are then worthless or beneath them. As a narcissist lacks in empathy, they have a complete disregard for how their actions might have affected those around them, only how the actions of others affect the narcissist themselves.
A smirk is also formed when a narcissist feels happiness and pleasure in the pain or suffering of another. The smirk is a microexpression which is an involuntary flash of what they feel on the inside, showing for a moment on the outside. Through these microexpressions, people reveal what they are truly feeling. These are when toxic and not toxic people are feeling an emotion they’re trying not to go show.
For survivors, feelings emotions such as resentment, which is a normal emotion, especially after this kind of experience, resentment can cause people to smirk when they don’t want to show resentment. Still, for a moment, it appears on their face. Survivors of narcissistic abuse can show the smirk, especially when we realise just how unfairly the narcissist has treated us. Feelings like jealousy, again it’s a universal emotions, and these emotions are very valid feelings with how much a narcissist puts you through, lies to you and exploits you, then walks off with your life and your belongings, leaving you feeling crushed. At the same time, they swan off into the sunset as though nothing happened, often with your replacement; this can also cause feelings such as jealousy and anger directed towards the narcissist who has the power to provoke you.
While you are in recovery, you may feel resentment towards them, as they trained you to feel as though you weren’t enough, and you are still putting yourself below them, you may feel shame, feel daft, stupid, and you might be after revenge for all they’ve done to you. Therefore survivors can also pull the smirk. Having contempt towards someone who tried to destroy everything about who you are doesn’t make you a narcissist; it doesn’t make you toxic. It makes you human with emotions. Some survivors can also have a happy, contempt smile if they find out karma visited the narcissist. Not because you were actively seeking revenge because you heard some karma hit them. Not all smirks have malicious intent. Some smirks are formed because when we see someone toxic, no longer getting away with their manipulative, toxic behaviour and justice being served. There is no wrong with being happy when justice is served.
With anger, this is often a feeling we get when someone provokes us or when someone has been unfair or unkind to us. Anger is usually directed toward someone who we view as equal. As you move through recovery, you may lose the resentment and start going through the anger phase, with resentment coming back from time to time if they are still trying to provoke you or whatever stunt they’re trying to pull. You’ll notice more anger towards them as you begin to feel more equal and realise they are not above you and do not have power or control over you. You are far from stupid. They are highly manipulative. Their games are incredibly hard to see when we don’t know what they are.
Then the stage of anger for those when you realise just how harmful and hurtful they are. They are not worthy of you or your time, as they do not care for others.
Pity, the feelings of sorrow for one suffering, we have to move away from self-pity. Again, it is a universal emotion and most understandable; it’s a highly valid emotion with everything narcissists put us through. However, that woe is me can bring us down and keep us trapped in the past; we have to work through any self-pity. Pitying the narcissist for things they claim to have been through or have been through can keep us trapped with them; it can keep us going back as they pull on our empathy with those pity plays when we get to the point when we learn about the disorder we might go through a phase of pitting them, but understand we can not help them when we realise we can not help them, yet pity them, we lose those feelings of anger and resentment for the stunts they pull, and we also stay away.
When their admiration face is on, narcissists can over-exaggerate their facial and body expressions. (those not on the disorder can do this too.) when a narcissist’s envious face appears, they can have anger, rage or be utterly emotionless in the face. This is when you could witness the narcissists stare.
Many narcissists are very good at faking emotions and facial expressions over time spent around them and getting to know them. You might start to notice a lack of facial expressions. Often they believe their own lies so they can come across as genuine and extremely convincing at first.
Pay close attention to how you feel around others; those are your instincts if you ask someone who reassures you; if you ask someone who invalidates you, it’s not because your feelings are wrong; it’s because they have something to hide. People’s facial expressions when you’re telling them things or they are telling you. You can, and you will recover from this.
